What A Day!

My two trouble makers
My two trouble makers

Today I wanted to give up on being a mom and owning dogs. Anyone else been in that situation? I have been there multiple times in the last 6 months but today I so close to giving the dogs away.

We just returned from a quick weekend trip to Chicago last night at midnight which meant I only got 7 hours of sleep. And I was tired from not getting a great night of sleep all weekend. I normally don’t sleep well in hotels. So I was tired today.

The morning was going well but as I was making lunch I moved my little man to his high chair and completely forgot about his toys until I noticed the dogs were into them. This meant a quick push out the back door so I could complete lunch and pick up the toys.

Sometime in the middle of making lunch I noticed my big dog, Samson, sitting nicely at the door. A little odd but it was drizzling outside so he probably just wanted ink. I finally got my lunch on the table and decided to let the dogs back in. Samson ran right in but searched the house like he was looking for something. So I called for my beagle dog, Dylan, who didn’t come. I thought please don’t have escaped but I ran back out front to see if I could find him in the front but didn’t see him.

Dylan is known to escape but my husband recently put up a new fence meant to keep him in. So much for that because I went back out to the backyard to see how he escaped. I saw the hole in the corner and took off around the house to find him.

Where did I find him?

In the neighbor’s yard, specifically the chicken coop that has an electric fence around the top and chicken wire all around. He had to have pushed through the chicken wire and he was down in a small pond. Oh and did I say it was drizzling?

I called and he didn’t come for about 10 minutes. David was stuck in his high chair and I ran back to get Samson on a leash to draw Dylan out and a bone.

So Samson did work. Dylan came up the hill to the fence but when I went down to lift the chicken wire to grab him I hit the electric fence with my forehead. I jumped back and let go of both dogs. I was in complete tears and just wanted to give up. I didn’t really want dogs and babies anyway.

But I love my husband and Dylan is my husband’s dogs so I couldn’t give up. I called for Samson and he came back to me immediately. I grabbed his leash under the fence and got him out. Right as I saw a chicken next to Dylan in the pond and I am pretty sure Dylan killed the chicken. I was just done with it!

I was tired. David was in the house alone and was crying. I finally found the gate and got Dylan home. I had tried calling my husband through his gym’s phone number because I needed him when Dylan was still loose.

It took a half hour to get Dylan home which when I got him there he went promptly in his kennel. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Completely dirty with mud and wet. And my little man needed feeding.

I calmed down by talking with my mom but I was still serious about getting rid of both dogs. Such a frustrating day.

A bright spot was  that my husband showed up with a beautiful bouquet of flowers to say sorry and thanks. I love my husband but it is still debatable if I will keep my dogs long term.

Anyone else deal with dog trouble while being a new mom? I am such an advocate of waiting for dogs until after children now. Any thoughts on how you might have dealt with the situation? Or solutions in the long term for dealing with dogs and babies?

They look sweet right now but today I wanted to get rid of them.

I am now blogging and relaxing since my baby is asleep for the night.


The Diaper Decision

Everyone new mom has to come to multiple big decisions before their baby comes. One of the big decisions for me was the diaper decision. In my circle of friends and the area where I live, it is a discussion of whether one should use disposable or cloth diapers. There are pros and cons for each. So before my little man came I had to make the decision for myself.

So the first option I looked at was disposable diapers. The biggest pro to this one is ease of use. You just throw them in the trash, they are easy to put on the baby, no washing of them. Secondly, they are convenient. You can purchase them at any store almost. You can travel easily with them as they just get thrown in the trash. And lastly, you don’t have to change them as often as clothe diapers because they tend to wick the moisture away from the baby’s bottom. So the biggest con for disposables are the cost. It can really add up fast within the first few months. The other con for most people are they are not environmentally friendly.

I honestly thought I was going to go the disposable diaper route when I was halfway through my pregnancy with my little man. It just seemed why too convenient. And when looking at the huge change of being a mom why not go the easiest route.

The other option that I looked at was, of course, cloth diapers. The biggest pro to cloth diapers was cost. It is a little more up front then disposables but in the long run it is much cheaper especially if you have multiple children. Some of the other pros were you always can have some on hand you just have to wash them. They are environmentally friendly. It can help with sensitive babies and diaper rashes. A fun pro is that cloth diapers tend to be much cuter then disposables. Now the biggest con is the effort it takes to wash them just about every other day. Also, there comes a point when you have to wash off the diapers before putting them in the pail. Another con is if you get a wiggly baby or one that dislikes diaper changes it can be hard to get on and off. Learning how to use them can be difficult too.

A Thirstie Diaper Cover
A Thirstie Diaper Cover

So as I was leaning towards disposables I did look at the cost of using a diaper service to do the laundry of cloth diapers because I really wanted to give them a try. But if my favorite reason was the cost effectiveness of cloth diapering then using a service to launder them defeats that purpose. Average cost that I found was at a minimum of $100 per month to get them laundered.

The surprise change was when my husband came home after serving at the Ladies Friendship Dinner two months before David was born and said we should cloth diaper. He had talked to a experience dad of three who clothed diapered and he said it was so worth it. Both for the money and for the children. So my husband encouraged me to look in to it. So I made the decision to go for cloth diapering.

Now that might have been a hard decision but it is amazing the many different cloth diapers out there on the market now. To start us off I went with the traditional prefold with snappis and waterproof diaper covers. I will review the ones I choose and which ones I like. I have done more experimenting with pocket diapers and all in ones too. I will continue writing blogs to go through what I have learned because this one would be way too long if I did it now.

My last comment is be aware that if you try cloth diapering you might want to give up after just one day but give it at least a weeks time before deciding. I was surprised at how good I got after just a week but halfway through day one I was ready to give up. I didn’t start cloth diapering with my little man even though we had the items until he was 7 weeks old because we traveled and moved in his first six weeks so we used disposables at first.

What has your experience been with diapers? What made you finally make a decision either way? Do you like what you are doing?

My Birthday Surprise

January of 2014 came and went with struggles but in a more routine way if that can be true. I hated going to work and acting like nothing had happened but I had made a commitment to stay there twelve weeks. I didn’t feel like telling strangers at work that wouldn’t care about me in a few months what had happened. That job finally came to the end at the beginning of February. I was so happy when it ended right before Super Bowl Sunday.

So I am not sure if you all have heard of the puppy bowl that runs on Animal Planet during the Super Bowl but my husband loves recording it and watching the puppies that are up for adoption. This created a desire in him to get a puppy even though we already had Samson. He convinced me by saying that he had never had a puppy of his own and I knew if we didn’t get it now then the puppy would actually be our children’s not my husbands. I said yes and we were to pick the puppy up on February 18th.

Our new puppy Dylan
Our new puppy Dylan

Since February is my birthday month my husband planned a wonderful getaway for my birthday. We both needed some time away for just us. So for the second year in a row we were going to head to Friday Harbor in the San Juan Islands and stay at the same wonderful bed and breakfast. It sounded like a much needed escape.

Now usually once you have a miscarriage you plan to be more careful on the next pregnancy even if you didn’t have a set reason for the loss and it was pretty clear you didn’t do anything wrong. But also my doctor said there was no need to wait to try again. We weren’t actually trying but allowing God’s timing to take place. But I wasn’t going to take any chances and our suite at the bed and breakfast had a hot tub and I was excited to use it. But two days before we were heading up to Friday Harbor I realized I was late and not wanting to be ignorant of a pregnancy I decided to test. So I took a pregnancy test the next morning.

I am really deliberate about taking the pregnancy tests. I make sure I leave the test on the toilet and don’t go back into the room until it has been at least 5 minutes. I don’t want to get sad if I haven’t given it enough time and it just hasn’t shown up.  So when I returned to the bathroom there it was a clear positive pregnancy test. My husband had purchased the digital tests this time around so there was no looking for a pink line it either stated pregnant or not pregnant. I was so excited! God had blessed us with another little one and according to statistic I should have a lower risk of miscarriage.

Second Positive Pregnancy

I ran to the bed to tell my husband. We were going to celebrate my birthday and our future baby. I did have some fear creep in but I kept telling myself that God was in control and he knew the outcome. We called both of our parents right away. There was no waiting around this time. We wanted our family to know and pray for us.

That weekend was beautiful. We walked the island with just my husband, Samson, and myself. Rob bought a cute bouquet for me after our first dinner on the island.WP_20140215_006 We went to Coho Café for their preset Valentine’s Day dinner which was delicious especially the chocolate lover’s dessert. We did have some problems with Samson barking while he was in his kennel back at the bed and breakfast so we didn’t get to explore as much as we wanted to by ourselves. I picked up some used children’s book for our coming baby. It was a weekend celebrating both my birthday and our new little one to come.

We went in for our 8 week appointment at the beginning of March. It was nice because my mom was in town and my husband came with me too. That really helped put me at ease as we went into the doctor’s office. It was also wonderful having them there with me for the first small ultrasound. It isn’t as good as the ultrasound you get at 12 weeks or 20 weeks but it showed the little start of our baby looking good. The doctor was pretty sure she saw a flickering heartbeat and it seemed to measure on schedule.

Enjoying the Flight Museum with my parents in town
Enjoying the Flight Museum with my parents in town

That first appointment put me pretty well at ease since we had already come farther then the first pregnancy since we made it to that appointment. Through this pregnancy I held on to God and trusted him. I prayed Psalms 139:13-14, “For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” I also held onto Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” And the last verse that I treasured was Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who are called according to his  purpose.”

I had to trust that this pregnancy was in God’s hands. I prayed daily and reminded myself with the verse above. It wasn’t something that I could control but I prayed to hold my baby in my hands.

Previous posts on my journey to motherhood:

First Joy

Black Friday Weekend

December 2013

No Expectations

The best advice I received when I first became a mother was from my own mother. She told me to have no expectations. It is amazing how much that helped me and I now pass that on to other new and experienced mothers.

I remember when she told me that over the phone. She had just been gone a few days after having helped for two and half weeks after my little man was born. It was exactly two days after my in-laws had left and my husband was back at work. It was the second day of me being mom to a newborn all on my own. I was still sitting in my bathrobe and probably had cried once or twice because the day wasn’t going anything like I wanted it. That is when she said to have no expectations for my little man and to make sure to take care of myself (aka get dressed and feel normal).

I am by nature and profession a planner. My career before moving to Washington was a event coordinator for a destination management company. It was what I found was a passion of mine. But I held fast to my mom’s advice of to have no expectations. That meant not to expect David to eat on set schedule or nap or cooperate with whatever I want. It was better to go with what he wanted. And to my surprise I was a better mother and he was happier when I had no plans.

Now that didn’t mean I did nothing. We had appointments to go to, we had Bible Study and MOPs, and still made playdates. But if it was a necessity to get to then we might skip it or we would show up late. Or I learned to adjust depending on David. Sometimes I arrived just a bit too early to MOPs so I could feed David because the choice was be early or late. And if David wanted to eat an hour after just nursing him I went with it.

I did have to remind myself during the times of frustration to let go of my expectations and it helped. I wasn’t and probably won’t be perfect with keeping no expectations but when I am having a difficult time I check myself to see if I have any expectations.  So David doesn’t have a set schedule. In the past few months he has been consistently going to bed by 8pm but he put himself on that schedule shortly before 3 months. That is why I still get up at night to feed him on demand because we both tend to get better sleep and I don’t have an expectation that he sleep through the night yet.

Added piece of advice: continue the no expectations into other areas of your life such as spouse, parents, friends, etc. It makes all of life just a little smoother.

My Nursery Theme

One question I got a lot while pregnant and now with a infant was/is: What is your nursery theme? I know a lot of people choose one from a store and go with it or have had it decided for forever. I wasn’t one of them and as you can see I like making things myself.

So I had two main things I wanted out of a theme. I wanted to be able to start working on it before finding out the gender (even though I didn’t get to set up the nursery until after little man was born). And secondly I wanted to be able to rotate it through different genders and multiple children. I do hope to have more then just my little man!

So my theme was based around a quilt I started working on back in 2013. I had bought the book Modern Baby, Easy, Fresh, and Fun Quilt Designs. I am not the best quilter so it had to be relatively easy. I had only made one quilt previously in

My quilt on my rocking chair in David's room.
My quilt on my rocking chair in David’s room.

high school so I thought a baby quilt was a great place to start. My initial purpose was to try to hand quilt it. That went on the side once I became pregnant with my little man (my third pregnancy) and had really bad morning sickness that stuck with me almost half the pregnancy.. I ended up just tying it off the holidays before David was born.

I choose the quilt because I liked the patch work look of the colorful triangles. So each triangle is made up of 7 various shades of a color and there are seven different color triangles that make up the main triangle. Then there are four various neutral triangles that aren’t patchwork to make the main triangle really pop. It was fun picking out the various colors and I had a lot of leftover material so I will make something else with that down the road.

A friend made his name above the bed. And got a green rug and blue mesh bumper. Just a few items to coordinate with the quilt.

So from my quilt I choose the theme of bright primary colors and once I found out I was having a boy it was focused on red, blue, and yellow. I really like it because it gave me freedom in what I can purchase for the crib, rug, frames, etc. Now it was harder then you think to buy crib sheets and other items in bright colors. Most stores have the pastel light items or they are themed as in mickey mouse, trucks etc. I was a little frustrated trying to find the right colors but I found a few that I like. One thing I landed on for the changing pad cover was Doctor Seuss because he was all about the bright fun colors.

I am glad I stuck with the bright theme as it is the first colors babies start seeing after black and white. And I had fun decorating his nursery around it.

How did you choose your theme?

That Kind of Day

So you know those days that you would really wish to just turn over in bed and stay snuggled in all day. Well today is/was that kind of day for me. But as a mommy, we all know, that kind of day isn’t possible. There is a little one requiring constant attention and is possibly the reason for wanting to stay  in bed too!

So first reason is that it was 61 degrees this morning in the main part of the house. That is like fall/winter weather to me. But a chilly morning after some heat waves and summer weather really makes the desire to stay under the covers very  strong. On top of that I got awaken by my neighbor’s dog barking for over 5 minutes causing our dogs to want to bark waking my little man. Though I am blessed with a baby that likes to roll around in his crib for 15-30 minutes before being ready for the day.

The second reason is my baby never gave me a 3 hour stretch of sleep since the one time he slept four hours I stayed up 2 hours into that as is my normal routine to go to bed at 10pm. He went down easily at 8pm but then was up a midnight which is only a bit earlier then his normal first feeding. That was the quick easy feed and perfectly sweet. But then he woke at 3am and 6am. Exhausting!

But a third reason that I just want to do nothing is because the last two wake ups in the night weren’t the sweet snuggle in nurse and back to bed quickly. Due to my milk not being use to three wake ups for feeding and definitely not that close together during the night my milk wasn’t easily accessible for my little man. Which meant an hour of being awake at 3am. The process was try to feed him which meant he would latch then within seconds pull off and cry. This would happen on both sides about 3-4 times. Then I put him back in the crib which only lasted 10 minutes of crying before I came back into the room to try feeding again. Finally he actually latched and stayed! But I was fully awake which meant longer for me to go back to sleep. Then he was up at 6am and the process started again: latch, pull off, cry. That only took 10 minutes before he finally became content on one side.

That was so not my usual baby so I am hoping that is part of his 6 month growth spurt. But time will only tell. Lets hope that means he will sleep a lot in the coming days because he only took an hour and half nap yesterday. So he was off and on fussy all evening.

Another reason is my beagle puppy is trying to steal EVERY single one of David’s toys. It is SO frustrating to have to pick up all the toys whenever I have to go change David, feed David or try to do anything away from the toys. And it has gotten progressively worse because he is trying new toys that he hadn’t touched before. It use to be just stuffed toys now it is the shape sorter, the stacking cups, and everything else. Ugh!

I kind of just want to go get a treat like ice cream or really tasty chocolate dessert and drive David around till he sleeps so I can have a little break. Kind of like a mommy break. I might get one this week as my WP_20150816_001husband is off work for the next few days. I might try a massage or pedicure or possibly running all by myself. Crazy thought.

Today I might actually take a nap while he is down too. I haven’t done that since he was under three months old. It is weird to me because my little man is usually a good sleeper and I get enough sleep but today I am half out of it. So here is to hoping tonight is better and I can a little break today of say maybe chores or cleaning although my sink is full of dishes and I have to make dinner tonight.

How do you handle days you just want to do nothing but can’t do that?