Do you know when in pregnancy that medically you are past the point of miscarrying?
It is at 20 weeks.
After that point if you lose the baby it is called a still birth. I believe it is just terminology but in my mind it mattered with my pregnancy.
So that is the date I relaxed the most with this third pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong that I wasn’t nervous or fearful. I counted down each milestone I hit with the percentage of survival for the baby had it come early.
Now I did decide in week 16 of this pregnancy that I was going to go with midwives in a birth center. My OB considered my low risk even with two previous miscarriages so I can switch. Birth centers will only allow low risk pregnancy. You can “risk” out of a birth center up until the baby is born.
So for my 16 week check up I went to both my OB and the midwives. By my 16 week I was off my progesterone supplements but my morning sickness stuck around until almost 18 weeks. I was so exhausted and wanted that second trimester energy that I heard about. I think in the end I only got 6 weeks of real “energy”. Most of the second trimester I could wake up, help my husband out the door for work and climb right back in bed for an hour nap. When pregnant your body is doing a lot of work.
I also did the same thing for my 20 week appointments. Since I was comfortable with the ultrasound room and tech I stayed at my doctor’s office for the anatomy scan at 20 weeks instead of going to an outside lab.
Our anatomy scan was beautiful. When we got to see our baby moving and hear the heartbeat at 20 weeks I was amazed and in awe. It is a blessing from God. My husband came to that appointment, of course!
Now we didn’t out the gender there but had the technician print up a picture and stick it in a sealed envelope. We then immediately after the appointment finished took it a baker that I had already order a cake from for a gender reveal party. We were going to celebrate this baby because it had taken so long to get here. And what better way then finding out the gender with friends and family.
At my 20 week mark of this pregnancy I had been pregnant a total of 40 weeks in the past year with no baby to hold in my arms.It was hard to wrap my head around that. That was a lot of hormonal changes to go through in a year but was beyond thankful to be at 20 weeks.
There was no problem with our anatomy scan. And if we made it just 4 more weeks then there was a high chance of survival even if I gave birth early. And my goal was to make it to 28 weeks because with the majority of babies survived if born at that time. I am pretty sure that was the week that my fear for my baby subsided and I was ready to meet the baby at any time.
But I finally knew in my heart that I was going to get to hold this child. I was going to get my miracle.