Thoughts for Today

Just a few thoughts from me today.

Does any other mom feel like a nurse with how much she washes her hands with everyone, especially the little one, in the house is sick?

My hands are so dry despite trying to put lotion on them as much as possible after washing. But I feel like I wash my hands then my son sneezes and I have to wipe it just to go back to wash my hands. It is a never ending cycle.

Feels like having a cold for four days is a forever time to be sick. Maybe that is because I have a child so I can’t lay in bed where it is warm and rest. And because my son is trying to get my hot tea too!

And when I am not feeling well everything the dogs do is twice as annoying! Can you just stop barking at the tv due to Skyping with grandma! You have seen her multiple times in the last week.

Oh and am I the only one that misreads the instructions for baking a potpie? I thought it was only going to take 35 minutes last night but when I looked as I was popping in in the preheated oven it was 1 HOUR 35 MINUTES. Maybe just put 95 minutes so I don’t space out. It meant leftovers for dinner and the pie is cooked and sitting in the fridge for tonight.

What are your thoughts for today?

WP_20151228_10_38_30_Pro

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps

I do believe every new mother is told to sleep when the baby sleeps. When does that stop? And what does that really mean?

I have had acquaintances and friends that are new mothers that have mentioned that was worthless advice. I have to say from my perspective it is one of the best advices from experienced mothers but it can be the hardest advice to implement.

I also recently read an article that talked about sleep and new mothers. Its titled was “We are torturing new mothers and then wonder why they get mentally ill“. It brought up some interesting points but I don’t agree completely with its conclusion. And it even touches on the “sleep when baby sleeps”.

The article states:

“In the West, mums are not made to rest. They are expected to go on as normal, with the washing, the school run, losing baby weight, going shopping and so on. Mums are told “sleep when baby sleeps”. However, this simply is not good enough. Because mum needs to eat, and she needs to shower, and she needs to get dressed sometimes, and she needs to go to see the health visitor and have baby weighed, and baby might only sleep for 20 minutes at a time. Then, when dad goes back to work, it gets even more chronic, because she offers to do the night feeds so that he can get up and work the next day.”

I find this paragraph interesting. Because, yes, a society can encourage a new mom to do the chores, clean the house, lose the baby weight, and everything else but in the long run it is the individual that has to realize what is important. If a new mom isn’t willing to actually stop and sleep it doesn’t matter what society does.

The article ended with:

“Proper paternity leave, decent postnatal wards with midwives who have time to care, regular home visits, continuity of care. Change needs to happen in attitudes as well. We need to start telling other people how important it is, to look after mum. Encourage partners to “put mum to sleep”. Tuck her up in bed with a chamomile tea (or a G and T) and tell her to stay there. Turn the lights off for her, bring her an extra pillow, tell visitors to go away because she is sleeping, bring the baby to her when he or she needs a feed. The cost of not doing so, could be her mental health.”

It is a good conclusion except that I don’t believe that our healthcare or society should be the one taking care of the home visits and providing the care but it should be the family and friends.

I was very blessed to have my mother arrive right before my son’s birth and therefore our ratio to my son for the first week and a half was 3 adults to 1 baby. I got to go straight from the birth center home just hours after his birth and rest in my own bed for about five hours. And after that my mom took care of everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and me. At nights we took shifts if my son wasn’t asleep so I could sleep more.

I didn’t realize how important that was until I was waiting for a lactation consultant right next to my birth center and one of my midwives walked in and was very surprised at how rested I looked. I was less then a week postpartum. I was still tired but didn’t look like death warmed over.

I do credit the first weeks of sleep to having a great support system in both grandparents and then in my community for bringing meals so I didn’t have to cook. I got in the habit of sleeping during the day when my son slept because my mother sent me to bed.

Then once we were on our own (just my husband and me with our son). I choice to start my night time sleep at 7pm. My husband was shocked and thought it was silly until he realized how much it helped me gain the sleep I needed. He also tried so hard to keep my son happy for more then an hour because my young son was a cluster feeder at night. So I would feed him at 6:30pm, 8pm, 9pm and then usually 10pm before he would settle into 3-4 hours stretches. My night would begin at 7pm and go until 9am. That sounds extreme but it was what got me through the first few months of newborn.

I actually took the full advice of “sleep when the baby sleeps” up until even now as my son is 10 months old. We had a really rough night over the weekend where I only got 5 hours of sleep and was fighting a cold. Then next night my son went down at 6pm and I went to bed at 8pm and we both slept until 7:30am with two wake ups. It is amazing how I felt the next day.

I will let you know to fully accept the advice I had to let go of a lot of things. I didn’t keep my house cleaned. I didn’t cook fancy meals. I didn’t lose my “baby weight” super fast. I didn’t get my to do lists done. My husband helped with the grocery shopping quite a bit. I didn’t go shopping much at all. I choose to sleep and sometimes just rest holding my son during the day. It was a huge mental challenge because I knew I should/could be doing so much more but my son and myself was the most important.

And one other note that saved me from having too much sleep deprivation. I asked for help and wasn’t afraid to. In those first few weeks it meant waking either my husband or my mom to get up to watch my son so I could sleep. It meant when I was on a trip with family a five weeks postpartum and I was at a lost what to do with my son and was exhausted asking my mom or sister to help. It meants reaching out to friends when I moved with a six week old and couldn’t do all the unpacking, nursing, and sleeping. It meant asking my husband to fully take care of my son while I recovered from gallbladder surgery at 9 weeks postpartum. He brought him in to feed and put him to bed the whole weekend.

I didn’t have “an easy” first few months postpartum as you can see but I did feel like it was easier due to the friends and family that helped me.

To new moms I would say really listen to the sleep advice and don’t worry what society might say you “should” do. No one cares how fast you lose weight or if you have a spotless house. And always ASK for help.

Do you have any tips on how you got more sleep with a newborn? WP_20150930_001

 

 

Simple Christmas

This Christmas was my first with my son. And it was a simple Christmas.

We didn’t fly to see family. We didn’t have any family come and visit. We didn’t rush around on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with places to be or see.

We simply celebrated the birth of our Savior with our son, just the three of us.

On Christmas Eve, we enjoyed a family swim at our local gym. It was fun to splash around and see our little man have fun. Then in the afternoon we went to our church’s Christmas Eve service. And then we came home and enjoyed MOD Pizza before our little man went to bed. And it ended with cuddle time with my husband while watching NCIS (Yes, not Christmas but our current Netflix show).

Then Christmas morning our little man woke, bright and early at 7am.

Why? Not sure.

But he only gave my one wake up that night so I don’t complain.

We then read the Christmas story from Luke 2 before heading to open our stockings. That was enough for the moment for our little man so we then made breakfast, Chicken Sausage, eggs and cheese scramble. A simple breakfast.

Then it was back for our presents which my husband and I opened all of ours but our little man took all day to open his gifts. We also got the chance to Skype with both grandparents and a couple of his aunts.

Nothing fancy or over the top except maybe that my husband made us a duck. But our little man went down for bed at 6:30pm and Christmas was over with our firstborn.

A Simple Christmas for our Savior.

 

WP_20151223_18_06_05_Pro.jpg

Christmas Week

It is Christmas week so I am a bit busy with my little man and enjoying the time. He did end up sick over the weekend so we are just spending this week together at home. One more work day for dad and then family time together.

Enjoy a picture of my little one with his doggy.

 

WP_20151216_10_26_14_Pro

You Know you’re a Mommy When…

You know you’re a mommy when…

You wipe a runny nose with your sleeve because you can’t reach a boogie wipe or Kleenex.

let your child rub he runny nose all over your pants and let it sit.

That you don’t mind the smell of breast milk on your shirt or bra.

That you go in to feed your child as soon as he cries because you want extra a sleep.

Or for that matter can’t go back to sleep after your child let you sleep 5.5 hours because you feel too rested!

Your child smiles melt your heart even if it is after an hour of trying to get him back to bed.

you feel comforted knowing your son woke because he pooped after he just slept an hour. At least you have a reason now!

Your “me time” is an hour at the gym enjoying Zumba while you son is at the gym day care.

Your goal for the day is to give your son two good naps so he doesn’t almost fall asleep in his high chair at 5pm which is way too early for bedtime.

Oh and that you wipe up something on the floor with your sock on your foot and call it good.

Now can you include your own! That all happened in the last week with my son and it reminds me of how much motherhood changes you.