My Toddler

This week I have been thinking about my toddler. And oh, how he is growing and changing. Most of the time it makes my heart swell with love and pride but then there are the times it makes my heart beat with worry.

My son is usually a cautious boy so I usually don’t have to worry too much. But my toddler has began to climb. And climb. And climb everything.

Just the other day I went to use the restroom and walked back to our living area to find my son dancing on our kitchen table with a spray bottle full of water in his mouth. He looked so content but my heart skipped because he could easily fall off and hit his head on our tile that cracks everything that falls on it.

He can also climb into his jogging stroller. We learned that after a walk and I left it in the front hall instead of the garage because I didn’t have an garage opener with me. Again he astounded me with that ability but gave me a heart attack because again he could fall on our tile or into my glass china cabinet.

Climbing into his stroller

Also, he knows how to climb onto my bed which usually is ok and cute. It has become one of his favorite reading spots. He can even get books up on the bed while climbing. But he also likes running from one side to the other which then I just picture him falling off the side. Ugh!


I have heard if a toddler is climbing by themselves they are less likely to fall because they know how much they can do. But I also know just one slip and he could hurt himself. And it is hard to keep up with a climbing toddler while doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen up, and being pregnant which equals more trips to the bathroom.

Reading on our bed


Things that my toddler does that makes my heart swell with love is that he gives me a goodnight huge and kiss every night before bath time. My husband takes care of bath and bedtime now so I say goodnight. It is just the sweetest thing for my son to run to me and give me a hug.

He also helps unload the silverware and puts in the drawer. It might be just a pile in the drawer but he is trying.

He loves reading and will tell us book, book, book when he wants it.

He knows what knocking is and will knock on closed doors while saying knock, knock.

He can brush his own teeth while on his step stool which he knows how to say step stool too.

He decides what shoes he wants to wear and sometimes even picks out his socks or clothes. Today I have him dress in shorts and he brought me over a pair of paints from his dresser that he wanted instead.

Getting the paper out for painting


And the top thing that I love seeing almost daily is he choosing what craft he wants to do. This is actually only between coloring or painting but he knows where each of those things are including the sponges to paint and he knows where to get the paper to do it. He will carry the paints out to his picnic table outside and then pull at our roll of paper to indicate what he wants to do. Then while I take the paper outside he will bring the sponges. Just too cute to see. Sadly though yesterday I didn’t pick up a crayon that he took outside and the sun melted it to the pavement. I get to figure out how to clean that up now. Oops.

Crayon melted on the cement


I love watching my son develop and grow. He has such a personality and loves making choices. I just hope I can teach him where not to climb before he hurts himself.

His most recent creation


What is your toddler doing?


Nap Disrupted

My son only took a five minute nap today. Five minutes!

Those five minutes were on the way home from the park. He enjoyed the park for two hours and that is all he slept.


Because his nap was disrupted by poop. Yep, poop.

This isn’t the first time and won’t be the last. But my son doesn’t go back to sleep after he poops.

I transferred him in from the car to his crib successfully then 5 minutes later I noticed he was rolling around. He continued talking and rolling and occasionally fusing.

All that for an whole hour before I decided to pull him out. And when I pulled him out he was poopy. That tends to be the case when he doesn’t sleep when he should.

And today he needed his nap because we are checking out a small group tonight which means he is suppose to be up past his bedtime. We will see if we make it because usually no naps means early to bed.

Oh, nap disrupted!

Missing the Known

This past week I have been struggling with missing the known specifically my life in Seattle. It has been five months in Southern California and I still feel really new here.

I am sure the pregnancy hormones don’t help with my emotions but I also know from prior experience that this time comes in a move. It is when you are settled physically but needing time to build those relationships, bring about familiarity, and find all those things (places, doctors, services, etc) that you slowly realize you need.

The biggest area that I feel the gap in this week was my home church up in Bellevue and my friends. I miss going to the Sunday School group and knowing about the others lives and having connection. I miss knowing what church we were going to every week and what to expect. I miss not having a set nursery for my son. I miss the beautiful smiling faces of friends that have been there through good and bad times with us.

It is hard that after five months we haven’t found a church to call home. We have visited many. I have a great MOPs group that I attended and am now going to a summer Bible Study with but I still feel new and left out since we choose not to call that church home.

Then the second area that I am feeling the newness in is my pregnancy.

I miss my midwives and birth center. I wish I could have the familiarity there instead of finding a new midwife and making the decisions there. I miss not already knowing who to call when I want a chiropractor in this pregnancy or a massage. I miss not being able to have my doulas that we had with my little man’s birth. I miss knowing the hospital that was the back up and my set OBGYN.

I don’t want to have to find all these new things. I don’t like having to find these new things.

I do have a new midwife but it is so hard not to compare and be disappointed with my choice. We went with a home birth this time around instead of birth center because the birth centers are not the same as they are in Washington.

I am sure on the other side of holding this coming baby that these feelings won’t matter and I will probably love my new midwife. But right now it isn’t so.

I am sure we will find the right church and I will make the friends that I am longing for but that takes time. And time feels like a long and hard.

I have to choose not to mourn the loss of what I had up in Washington but to cherish that time, memory, friends. It is the process of moving.

My Heart Breaks

Tonight I was putting my son to bed by rocking him and singing. I sing the same two songs each time I put him to bed. The songs are “Jesus Loves Me” and “Amazing Grace”. After I finished singing I started to pray and think while my son was snuggled in on me.

This past week ran through my mind and my heart breaks for all that is happening in our country. And it breaks more then it has ever had before because I was seeing these events through mother eyes. I am raising my son in a country that I can’t completely understand. It isn’t the time I would wish my son to grow up in but it is the one that he will be.

I count my blessings that my son is too young to notice what is happening in the news and what my husband and I have been discussing all week. I am so glad he is too young to be on Facebook and face the never ending posts over the past weeks events. It is so confusing to work through and I don’t have to explain it to my child.

But someday he won’t be so young and he will ask questions which I will have to find an answer to. I don’t look forward to that day.

But my prayer was that I would be an example of Christ to him. That he will become a child and eventually an adult that treats other with respect and as Christ taught us.

The following scriptures run through my mind for how we need to be living to bring love and peace to those around us.

Matthew 22:37-39

37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and [o]foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

Matthew 7:12

12 “In everything, therefore, [a]treat people the same way you want [b]them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

My prayer tonight was that I will be able to truly show and teach my son what those two scriptures really mean and I can only do that through Christ in me.